So I fell asleep and woke up to these messages..

“Cause I was kinda sad, I read your tumblr post about me.”

“I just wana be your man, but you won’t let me.”

“Hey let’s follow Lakell to work and catch a movie? Me, Tony and Erick are gana go. Please go? I’ll make it up to you, I promise.. Just go tomorrow yeah?”

“Hey, morning Lois :)”

There you go again.. treating me like bleh, then you come being all nice. Sigh.. stop that. You have no idea how pissed I was lastnight. Instead of watching my brothers first dodgeball game which he was so excited about for like a month, and instead of going to my other brother’s wife’s birthday party, I decided to hang with you guys. But for about 4 hours I’ve hung out with you and the gays, you were so damn quiet. You were like on bitch mode. And that seriously pissed me off. I thought I was gana have a good night.. next time.. don’t invite to dinner and whatever if you’re just gana be an ass, seriously.. That ruined my night. I didnt even wana talk to any of you guys anymore. That’s why I kept calling someone on my cellphone. And I also decided to ditch you guys, instead of going to her house.. Thanks for the terrible night.. I’m sorry, okay? I’m sorry I can’t be who you want me to be. I’m sorry I can’t please you.. I’m sorry I can’t be yours.. I’m so damn sorry.. If only you knew how I feel. You have NO DAMN IDEA how you treat me. Since the VERY beginning.. you think you’re doing the right things, but noooo. You ALWAYS did things that disappointed me and hurt me. And people are telling me to go for you? Think about it.. After everything you’ve put me through, you think I’ll go after you just like that? No.. I’m so afraid of you.. I’ve always been. Cause you always hurt me. You always ruin my mood. I can’t even recall when was the last time I was truly happy just hanging out with you.. :/ You get mad SO fast.. for the smallest damn reasons. You’re ignorant. When you’re mad at me, you NEVER bother to make things up with me. All you do if ignore me and act like I’m freakn nothing. You know how that feels? There was this one night recently that I freakn bursted into tears because of you. I didn’t know what to do with you anymore.. I gave you so many shots to show me that you changed.. you don’t know it, but I actually do. But you always treated me so bad that I just wanted to give up even being friends with you.. I always come talking to you even after we argue. It’s always me. I’m slowly giving up here.. but as much as I hate swallowing my pride.. I do it for the group. And also for the sake of our friendship. I just want you to be more of a bestfriend to me. A sweet bestfriend. Someone who will always be there.. as a friend or bestfriend. Whichevs.. Not just some nasty guy.. I want you to be so many things.. but we don’t always get what we want. It’s all up to you to change how you are or not.. Either way.. even if you get mad and whatever, I still try to be your friend. I try so hard to fight the awkwardness.. I’ll accept you for you.. but as a friend. I’m sorry, but by looking at the way you treat me as friend.. what more if I get into a relationship with you..? Sigh.. I feel so bad.. I’m sorry.. I really am.. All I do is repeat myself when it comes to you.. You know what’s one wish that I wish for on 11:11? Is that someday.. sometime soon.. some other girl will come into your life and will be your girlfriend and treat you good. And when that day comes.. I’ll be so happy for you.. and her. You have no ideaaaaaaa..

1. sweetestmistaaake posted this